Sometimes in conversation with clients, I notice that the bridges to great communication are not being built by them because they often end statements by just ending them, as if they have run out of information to convey. If the conversation was a quick one that doesn't need to go further, that's one thing...but what if it's not? What if there is more to say, or if the other person has not been allowed to speak their mind? At that point, it's up to me to figure a way to continue the conversation. What would be helpful is for clients to develop the sense of ending their statement with a related question to me, such as "What do you think about (conversation topic)?" or "Has something similar ever happened to you, and how did you handle it?" or something along those lines. Placing all the responsibility for continuing the conversation on the other person is tough for them, it's got to something that's shared in order for everyone to feel like they are "equally vested" in the communication.
Developing the ability to come up with these sentence bridges is key, and in a related way, knowing how to end a conversation with the implied mutual understanding that "if there is more, we can talk again" is also worthwhile. After everyone has been able to give their viewpoint, being able to say "Okay for now, let's continue this later" is a nice way to sort of cap that part of the conversation, but allow for the chance of deeper talk later. Just ending by finishing what YOU have to say and standing there quietly might be misinterpreted by the conversation partner, and in any case puts a new responsibility on them to bridge the gap or else just be done with the talk, perhaps before they are really ready to do so.
Asking for other people's input is normally welcome, and having some "soft" ways of ending the conversation on your part that allows other input right then or in the future gives the people also in the dynamic the chance to have some appropriate closure to the communication. Envision it as not slamming a door, but rather putting your hand on the doorknob, which non-verbally clues someone else that perhaps the conversation is winding down...but the gentle had allows a few more moments of conversation and will enable them to come back later via speaking or email or text to revisit the conversation and continue things. Listen to how others do it, or ask people for their ideas on how to perform this skill, and you'll have better conversations and more satisfied co-workers and friends as you develop a tough skill that really elevates you verbally and inter-personally!
Showing posts with label interviewing for work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label interviewing for work. Show all posts
Monday, May 12, 2014
Monday, March 24, 2014
What should potential employers know about your diagnosis, and when should they know this?
Often, clients have a fear how to appropriately express their conditions/diagnosis/uniqueness to possible employers, worried that once they know this, an employer won't value them as highly or make them do work that isn't exactly the kind of work the client wants to do. This is a highly personal thing, but as the years have gone by and the general awareness and understanding of the Autism Spectrum has grown, I do sense a better climate for uniquely-abled workers to be forthright about what they are good at and not so good at, and to be clear about the kind of accommodations that they would benefit from at work. Also, if you want to get technical and legal about it, the Americans with Disabilities Act and the amendments passed in 2009 mandate that employers make these accommodations for workers. This combination of the legal requirements and the general awareness and acceptance of diagnosed conditions certainly have made the climate more conducive to people on the Spectrum being more open about their needs when looking for work than in decades past.
Practicing being clear and concise about what you have been diagnosed with is absolutely necessary; for one big thing, having "the speech" down and ready for use rather than fumbling with a million thoughts will show the person you are speaking with a small example of you dealing with your condition in a positive, businesslike way. That said, I'm not sure I'd start the conversation with this topic, let it come up as the interview progresses, perhaps after they ask you (as an interviewer always does!) if you have any questions for them. "Yes, I do" you might say, "Have you had much experience with people with Asperger's Syndrome (or whatever your condition is) in the past?" See how they answer, and be ready for a quick follow up such as, "Well, I have Asperger's, and as such, sometimes I have trouble recognizing social cues, body language, and other non-verbal communication." Let them respond, but also have the positive ready, like "However, with Asperger's, I also have tremendous attention to detail and deep focus, and will really dig in deeply to the tasks I am assigned and get you the kind of results that help the company!" Again, practicing your conversational and informational bits will really stand you in good stead and help you be comfortable going in.
As for when to disclose, I think "the earlier the better," but would also include "the more comfortable the better," meaning be comfortable with the moment first, and that's hopefully sooner than later. Some want to wait until there is a job offer on the table, and while that would give you great leverage, I think the person who has been evaluating you might feel a bit taken advantage of if you did it in that way. Plus, I think you'd want to let them know about yourself and see how they react and see if they have had other workers that they have made accommodations for in the past, etc. Look, they are hiring all of you, so let them know what "all of you" really means, and then when you do get the gig, you'll know that they are welcoming the entire package!
Practicing being clear and concise about what you have been diagnosed with is absolutely necessary; for one big thing, having "the speech" down and ready for use rather than fumbling with a million thoughts will show the person you are speaking with a small example of you dealing with your condition in a positive, businesslike way. That said, I'm not sure I'd start the conversation with this topic, let it come up as the interview progresses, perhaps after they ask you (as an interviewer always does!) if you have any questions for them. "Yes, I do" you might say, "Have you had much experience with people with Asperger's Syndrome (or whatever your condition is) in the past?" See how they answer, and be ready for a quick follow up such as, "Well, I have Asperger's, and as such, sometimes I have trouble recognizing social cues, body language, and other non-verbal communication." Let them respond, but also have the positive ready, like "However, with Asperger's, I also have tremendous attention to detail and deep focus, and will really dig in deeply to the tasks I am assigned and get you the kind of results that help the company!" Again, practicing your conversational and informational bits will really stand you in good stead and help you be comfortable going in.
As for when to disclose, I think "the earlier the better," but would also include "the more comfortable the better," meaning be comfortable with the moment first, and that's hopefully sooner than later. Some want to wait until there is a job offer on the table, and while that would give you great leverage, I think the person who has been evaluating you might feel a bit taken advantage of if you did it in that way. Plus, I think you'd want to let them know about yourself and see how they react and see if they have had other workers that they have made accommodations for in the past, etc. Look, they are hiring all of you, so let them know what "all of you" really means, and then when you do get the gig, you'll know that they are welcoming the entire package!
Saturday, March 8, 2014
Developing executive function skills...start a task and see it ALL THE WAY to end!
To really develop the sometimes elusive executive function skills (sidenote: I've always thought it should be intentionally mis-pronounced "EXECUTE-ive function," as in, executing and getting things all the way done...make sense?), working with clients to start and task, break it down to manageable chunks, have a formalized schedule written down (or saved digitally with recurring reminders, or whatever the best application of schedule is), get these chunks accomplished on schedule, AND THEN HAVE A DEFINED "FINISH" TO THE TASK is key. Even if the task is recurring, having someone see the start to finish routine and grasping that it's not accomplished when "oh, most of the work is done," or "Yeah, it's going fine" is the answer to queries about the completion.
I have seen too many crumpled homework assignments pulled from the depths of backpacks or incorrectly-saved/misfiled/mislabeled work products suddenly unearthed when using a computer or checking a memory stick for something else, along with the requisite "Oh, there that is!" Yeah, there it is, 99% of the way done, with time and effort having been devoted to it weeks ago, only to have it languish somewhere and the TASK NOT BE DONE. Bosses and teachers have blank spaces for the work, or perhaps the person had to half-bake a replacement and turn it in late with the usual sturm und drang and frenzy that has come to often characterize their work or academic life.
Getting rid of that unneeded frenzy and smoothing things out is a beneficial side-effect to perfecting the entire cycle of EXECUTE-ive function, and a calmness that once it becomes noticed is something that clients like and can work towards. Having examples of getting tasks all the way done and the positive effects it has on life, work results, grades, interpersonal relationships, extra time reserves, etc., is a feeling that is pretty positive and one that I can mention in retrospect as "let's head for the way you did the work and got it turned in on time like the FULLY DONE WORK NAME HERE from last month, okay?"
That concrete example of something that THEY DID is crucial, and to get it you may have to really dig in on an assignment and be involved and re-emphasize chunk deadlines and assembly and other bits and pieces. However, once it's been accomplished, it can be use again and again for an example of a time when the person completed the cycle and reaped the benefits of the effort, and as a building block for getting better at the completion skills that are sometimes elusive but so needed!
I have seen too many crumpled homework assignments pulled from the depths of backpacks or incorrectly-saved/misfiled/mislabeled work products suddenly unearthed when using a computer or checking a memory stick for something else, along with the requisite "Oh, there that is!" Yeah, there it is, 99% of the way done, with time and effort having been devoted to it weeks ago, only to have it languish somewhere and the TASK NOT BE DONE. Bosses and teachers have blank spaces for the work, or perhaps the person had to half-bake a replacement and turn it in late with the usual sturm und drang and frenzy that has come to often characterize their work or academic life.
Getting rid of that unneeded frenzy and smoothing things out is a beneficial side-effect to perfecting the entire cycle of EXECUTE-ive function, and a calmness that once it becomes noticed is something that clients like and can work towards. Having examples of getting tasks all the way done and the positive effects it has on life, work results, grades, interpersonal relationships, extra time reserves, etc., is a feeling that is pretty positive and one that I can mention in retrospect as "let's head for the way you did the work and got it turned in on time like the FULLY DONE WORK NAME HERE from last month, okay?"
That concrete example of something that THEY DID is crucial, and to get it you may have to really dig in on an assignment and be involved and re-emphasize chunk deadlines and assembly and other bits and pieces. However, once it's been accomplished, it can be use again and again for an example of a time when the person completed the cycle and reaped the benefits of the effort, and as a building block for getting better at the completion skills that are sometimes elusive but so needed!
Saturday, March 1, 2014
Easy to uncover TREASURE TROVES of helpful information are right there for you!
For cover letters, inquiry emails, informational interviews, or preparing for interviews (in person or over the phone), few things can provide as much pertinent information as reading a company's "news," "press releases," or "information"website sections, or doing an internet search with the company's name or name of some of the company leaders. This kind of "intel" can really open up great lines of communication and conversation, and show that you are putting in the kind of effort and thought that would be worthwhile having as part of the company.
That said, just tossing out facts and figures with no context is a pretty unsubtle move. What you want to do is connect your talents, experience, and interests with things that are current and happening with the company. Working this into a cover letter or conversation by communicating something like "I noticed that your company is starting to expand into new markets via an online club membership effort, and I have three years of experience setting up and maintaining loyalty club outreach work, as you may have seen on my resume." Or, "I read that (the company) is trying to expand the territory that salespeople will cover, and that reminds of the work that I did introducing (your old company) to new potential clients via cold-calling and targeted outreach to individuals and companies that I researched and put into a detailed data base." Linking what's coming up or important to the company that you would like to be hired by with your own experience and demonstrated talents slowing edges you away from "unknown commodity" status toward the "worth hiring" category. Enough of these nudges and you'll be talking to HR and filling out new hire paperwork...isn't that a nice moment to imagine?
Read the press releases the company puts out, search what newspapers or bloggers might have to say, know industry trends that might affect the company and bring these details out when the moment presents itself. If nothing else, in an interview, using this info during the "So, do you have any questions for me?" time is worthwhile. Better still is doing that linking of you and their needs when they start with the reliable "Tell me a little bit about yourself" interview gambit, and doing it then will give you momentum and confidence as the interview picks up speed.
Knowing the history of the company, some information about the person you might be speaking to in an interview, and the most up to date news on the company is information that you can process and think about and deploy when the time is right...and the right time is always sooner than later!
That said, just tossing out facts and figures with no context is a pretty unsubtle move. What you want to do is connect your talents, experience, and interests with things that are current and happening with the company. Working this into a cover letter or conversation by communicating something like "I noticed that your company is starting to expand into new markets via an online club membership effort, and I have three years of experience setting up and maintaining loyalty club outreach work, as you may have seen on my resume." Or, "I read that (the company) is trying to expand the territory that salespeople will cover, and that reminds of the work that I did introducing (your old company) to new potential clients via cold-calling and targeted outreach to individuals and companies that I researched and put into a detailed data base." Linking what's coming up or important to the company that you would like to be hired by with your own experience and demonstrated talents slowing edges you away from "unknown commodity" status toward the "worth hiring" category. Enough of these nudges and you'll be talking to HR and filling out new hire paperwork...isn't that a nice moment to imagine?
Read the press releases the company puts out, search what newspapers or bloggers might have to say, know industry trends that might affect the company and bring these details out when the moment presents itself. If nothing else, in an interview, using this info during the "So, do you have any questions for me?" time is worthwhile. Better still is doing that linking of you and their needs when they start with the reliable "Tell me a little bit about yourself" interview gambit, and doing it then will give you momentum and confidence as the interview picks up speed.
Knowing the history of the company, some information about the person you might be speaking to in an interview, and the most up to date news on the company is information that you can process and think about and deploy when the time is right...and the right time is always sooner than later!
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Interview specifics...GET THE JOB BY BEING READY FOR THE INTERVIEW!
Interviews by telephone and those in person are both chances for you to shine, and with a bit of preparation and anticipation they can be things that add a sense of urgency to the mind of a potential employer about the need to hire you/keep the interview process going. Many parts of the interview are things you can successfully anticipate and practice for, and devoting some time to the predictable ingredients is well worth the time and effort! This post imagines a scenario when it is a one on one interview, but I'll post a blog about panel interview dynamics in the near future.
For telephone interviews, I ALWAYS encourage clients to have a page with as many possible comfortable answers to the predictable questions on it, answers that address the exact question and play up your candidacy with action words and experience examples that will help. Why NOT do this? You should practice delivering these answers so they don't wind on too long, or just give clipped, non-interesting responses when more is called for. Ideally, have someone who has had some interview experience listen to your answers and give you some feedback on both content and length. Of course, it shouldn't sound as if you are reading from a sheet, so that's something to practice, as well. What clients have often found is that by practicing and having the sheet with them, they didn't refer to it much, but having it there gave them a sense of comfort and if they got flustered or nervous, there it was for easy reference. Info about the company that you have located through your own research is also a super idea to have on this sheet, you are ready with gentle "arrows in the quiver" to expand the conversation with related information YOU bring up.
First off, getting the greeting and introductory phase of the interview set is the way to set a launch pad for the rest of it being successful. Make sure you are clear on the person's name and use the name every so often, but not every sentence! The interviewer will ask how you are, and having a planned, pleasant and easy response to this basic query is important, to give you a chance to settle in to the interview and to mentally clue the interviewer in that you understand what's expected of you. Asking them in a similar fashion how they are (and waiting for them to answer and then responding briefly) is also a type of social convention that the more you engage in, the interviewer continues to think "Yes on hiring this person."
Moving into the heart of the interview, there will probably be early questions about why you think you should work for the company. Being prepared to show you know your own strengths is critical, and weaving some information about the company needs that shows you have looked at their website and their upcoming events and press releases or news stories about them and can give this information back in a concise fashion will continue to burnish your image with the person you are speaking to. Here is where you are not boastful but confident and secure in your abilities and past work, and can speak about it without embarrassment or reluctance. If you can't give them reasons to hire you, who can?
Working in bits and pieces of the research you did about the company is also a key move. Don't just talk about what they bring up about the company, show that you went out on your own to find out more and that you can bring up items that relate to what's being talked about at the pertinent times. I'm not saying you should ignore their questions and control the conversation, I'm saying that having command of a wide range of topics that relate to the company and their past, present, and future is a characteristic that will separate you from other people who are not as resourceful and forward-thinking. These things fit well on the prep page I mentioned earlier, by the way.
You will be asked "Do you have any questions for me?" HAVE SOME! If the interview has gone on a long time, maybe one or two are enough. If it's been short-ish, here is where you control the extension of time and your exposure. Questions about the extra information you found out through research before the interview can be used here, and also a variation on "Well, in your experience at COMPANY, what are some personal qualities (or work style characteristics, or personal values, or habits, etc) that successful people at COMPANY have had?" Then, when they answer, follow up by connecting your qualities/characteristics/values/habits with the ones they mentioned, with examples of you exhibiting them if possible. By doing this, you get some personal insights from the person, and then align yourself with things that mattered to them...more "Yes on hiring this person."
When they signal that the interview is winding down, be clear on what the next steps might be, whether they need anything else from you, and if you have mentioned something about your past and sending some sort of report copy or work product to them be sure to get the right email or mailing address so you can do this promptly. Be clear on when you can expect to hear from them, or if they are waiting for something from you. Thank them for the time and attention, and sign off. IT'S NOT OVER, HOWEVER! Sending a thank you note (ideally handwritten, but emailed is better than nothing) right away is crucial! Don't start with "Thank you for ...," start with something like "I was happy to speak with you earlier today about the POSITION NAME..." and then go on, with a thank you somewhere later. Mention something that was helpful about the conversation, or something that impressed you about the talk, or a factoid that came up, so that it is clear that the note was written after the interview and that you were paying attention. Get it sent, then wait for the next communication that the interview indicated, and give it "some time to breathe."
Congratulate yourself on a job well done, and then get to work applying for another gig and setting up another interview with another company rather than resting on your achievement...you are HOT and in a groove...stay that way with continued effort until a job offer than you accept comes to you! DON'T LET UP!
For telephone interviews, I ALWAYS encourage clients to have a page with as many possible comfortable answers to the predictable questions on it, answers that address the exact question and play up your candidacy with action words and experience examples that will help. Why NOT do this? You should practice delivering these answers so they don't wind on too long, or just give clipped, non-interesting responses when more is called for. Ideally, have someone who has had some interview experience listen to your answers and give you some feedback on both content and length. Of course, it shouldn't sound as if you are reading from a sheet, so that's something to practice, as well. What clients have often found is that by practicing and having the sheet with them, they didn't refer to it much, but having it there gave them a sense of comfort and if they got flustered or nervous, there it was for easy reference. Info about the company that you have located through your own research is also a super idea to have on this sheet, you are ready with gentle "arrows in the quiver" to expand the conversation with related information YOU bring up.
First off, getting the greeting and introductory phase of the interview set is the way to set a launch pad for the rest of it being successful. Make sure you are clear on the person's name and use the name every so often, but not every sentence! The interviewer will ask how you are, and having a planned, pleasant and easy response to this basic query is important, to give you a chance to settle in to the interview and to mentally clue the interviewer in that you understand what's expected of you. Asking them in a similar fashion how they are (and waiting for them to answer and then responding briefly) is also a type of social convention that the more you engage in, the interviewer continues to think "Yes on hiring this person."
Moving into the heart of the interview, there will probably be early questions about why you think you should work for the company. Being prepared to show you know your own strengths is critical, and weaving some information about the company needs that shows you have looked at their website and their upcoming events and press releases or news stories about them and can give this information back in a concise fashion will continue to burnish your image with the person you are speaking to. Here is where you are not boastful but confident and secure in your abilities and past work, and can speak about it without embarrassment or reluctance. If you can't give them reasons to hire you, who can?
Working in bits and pieces of the research you did about the company is also a key move. Don't just talk about what they bring up about the company, show that you went out on your own to find out more and that you can bring up items that relate to what's being talked about at the pertinent times. I'm not saying you should ignore their questions and control the conversation, I'm saying that having command of a wide range of topics that relate to the company and their past, present, and future is a characteristic that will separate you from other people who are not as resourceful and forward-thinking. These things fit well on the prep page I mentioned earlier, by the way.
You will be asked "Do you have any questions for me?" HAVE SOME! If the interview has gone on a long time, maybe one or two are enough. If it's been short-ish, here is where you control the extension of time and your exposure. Questions about the extra information you found out through research before the interview can be used here, and also a variation on "Well, in your experience at COMPANY, what are some personal qualities (or work style characteristics, or personal values, or habits, etc) that successful people at COMPANY have had?" Then, when they answer, follow up by connecting your qualities/characteristics/values/habits with the ones they mentioned, with examples of you exhibiting them if possible. By doing this, you get some personal insights from the person, and then align yourself with things that mattered to them...more "Yes on hiring this person."
When they signal that the interview is winding down, be clear on what the next steps might be, whether they need anything else from you, and if you have mentioned something about your past and sending some sort of report copy or work product to them be sure to get the right email or mailing address so you can do this promptly. Be clear on when you can expect to hear from them, or if they are waiting for something from you. Thank them for the time and attention, and sign off. IT'S NOT OVER, HOWEVER! Sending a thank you note (ideally handwritten, but emailed is better than nothing) right away is crucial! Don't start with "Thank you for ...," start with something like "I was happy to speak with you earlier today about the POSITION NAME..." and then go on, with a thank you somewhere later. Mention something that was helpful about the conversation, or something that impressed you about the talk, or a factoid that came up, so that it is clear that the note was written after the interview and that you were paying attention. Get it sent, then wait for the next communication that the interview indicated, and give it "some time to breathe."
Congratulate yourself on a job well done, and then get to work applying for another gig and setting up another interview with another company rather than resting on your achievement...you are HOT and in a groove...stay that way with continued effort until a job offer than you accept comes to you! DON'T LET UP!
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